I am blessed with a God who equips and empowers me for every season and calling.

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” – 2 Corinthians 9:8 ESV

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When Hustle Culture Isn’t Enough

Let’s be honest: the world of creators, visionaries, and entrepreneurs is a wild ride. The pressure to DIY everything or lock in with no time off, and to never lose momentum, can leave us feeling exhausted, guilty, and overwhelmed. If you’ve ever felt invisible under the weight of to-do lists, metrics, or client emails, you’re not alone.

But deep down, if you're building your business by faith, know God never meant for us to sustain our visions by sheer hustle. He invites us to build with Him, not apart from Him.

From Striving to Submitting: The Power of Divine Ability

We often try to plan, perform, and perfect things on our own strength, but it is grace that makes it possible to move from striving to abiding.

Let that sink in. You are not called to figure it all out. You’re called to walk in obedience, step by step, trusting that God’s grace will supply exactly what you lack.

Ephesians 3:20 ESV says: “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us”.

It’s so easy to feel like the success or failure of your creative work or business is on your shoulders. But God’s word tells us nothing could be further from the truth. Transformation happens when we submit, not just our scheduled or sales goals, but the entire vision — back to Him.

Practical Ways to Return to God

Identify your Zone

Pinpoint the area you’re feeling most depleted, whether it's launches, content not working, finances, visibility, or growth plateaus. Write it down.

Turn it into a Prayerful submission

Pray over that area: “Lord, I submit this plan, project, or business to you. Let your grace empower me to walk it out in alignment with your will.”

Release the Pressure to Perform

Instead of forcing more output, pause and ask: What is God calling me to build or release right now? Is it something I want, or is this truly what God wants me to do? Take time and seek Him through His word and trust that abiding leads to fruitfulness, not more frantic activity.

Declare Over Your Work

• I am resourced, inspired, and positioned by God’s Grace.

• God multiplies my obedience, not my burnout.

• Every resource I need is supplied according to His riches, not by striving.

Anchor your Vision with Scripture

Keep 2 Corinthians 9:8 and Philippians 4:13 visible in your workspace.

Let Grace Lead Your Vision, Not Grit Alone

Friend, you don’t have to choose between excellence and rest, or impact and intimacy with God. God is waiting on your agreement. He never wants you to do this alone. The pressure is off, you get to align, obey, and watch what happens when grace becomes your operating system, not fear.

If this blessed you, share it with a friend or leave a comment below.

Remember: You are equipped, resourced, and empowered because God himself is the one equipping you. Keep building, keep trusting, and keep Faithing.

There are moments when obedience feels heavy —not because it’s unclear, but because it’s sacred and tied to something that once brought you shame.

Starting Hidden in His Quiver was one of those moments for me.

For years, I’ve carried a deep burden for survivors of domestic violence - not from a distance but from the middle of it. I’ve known what it means to rebuild your life from pieces, to trust God through tears, and to wonder if safety and peace could coexist.

That’s where this vision began.

Not in a boardroom, but in prayer.

Not in strategy but in surrender.

This time last year, God gave me the go-ahead for this organization after depositing the vision in 2014, two years after making the decision to live through the difficult times. This year, that vision has taken its first real breath.

God Prepares You For a Purpose

I was always the strong one - both physically and mentally; I was the one who could fight my way out of anywhere. To the point that in high school, I joined the wrestling team and began training in jujitsu. With some events in my childhood, I never wanted to be in a place where I could be a victim again.

But there I was.

The one thing I never prepared for was for the person I love to hurt me in a way that I could have lost my life. But it happened, and I had to make the decision to leave a life I thought I would have forever.

See, when I made that decision, I didn’t know how much help I wouldn’t have.

Police? I didn’t look like it could happen to me. (Yes, the police officer said that)

Charities? You have to be homeless and jobless before we can help.

I was able to leave with my life, but there wasn’t much life after that, especially with the lack of available resources.

I had to put all my energy into living, providing, and transitioning.

I learned firsthand that domestic violence survivors were on their own, there aren’t enough resources for the need, and the resources available are sometimes conditional.

In 2014, God gave me the vision for a resource organization that helps survivors transition from surviving to stability. The time after you have left, and you're trying to figure out how to make it.

Is it better to just go back?

That’s a question I hope to change. No one deserves to be abused, hit, or killed by someone they love.

Let’s Face the Facts

In 2020, domestic violence incidents increased by 8.1% following the COVID lockdown, with 10 million cases happening each year. With every recession, pandemic, and event that happens, individuals are trapped with their abuser. They have nowhere to go, no help with housing, and some lack financial literacy, while others have children to care for.

Having support after leaving a domestic violence situation is crucial to survival and thriving for everyone involved. Support can be life or death for a survivor; without it, we will continue to lose loved ones who never deserved the hurt they received.

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What Hidden in His Quiver Means

The name comes from Isaiah 49:2:

“He made my mouth like a sharp sword; in the shadow of his hand, he hid me; he made me a polished arrow; in his quiver, he hid me away. “

It’s a reminder that even in the darkest of times, God covers you, polishes, and provides a place of rest and restoration. For survivors of domestic violence, life after is more about survival and safety.

Hidden in His Quiver is a non-denominational faith-based organization that empowers survivors of domestic violence and abuse - men, women, children, and even pets - through housing resources, holistic support, and meaningful employment pathways.

Our mission is simple:

To help survivors not just escape but thrive.

The resources and education alone could change someone’s life and beat the statistics. We strive to be an organization that helps, regardless of your religious background; we aim to demonstrate God’s love through service, not through requirements.

From Vision to Movement

This is more than a nonprofit.

It’s a foundation for a multi-state built village; A community where survivors can rebuild with dignity, surrounded by faith and community.

But every vision starts small.

Right now, we’re focusing on the beginning:

- Building our operational foundation

- Launching our first program

- Providing resources for survivors who need the basic necessities, especially with the cold months coming & political climate

- Raising $3,000 through our GoFundMe to kick-start service and outreach

This isn’t just organizational, it’s personal.

Each step really feels like a piece of healing coming full circle.

Help Build The Vision

A Note to Fellow Builders

If you’ve been following my walk here on Mom Living Normally, you know I’ve been walking out this season of creation—piece by piece, with faith as the blueprint.

Starting Hidden in His Quiver is one of those full-circle moments that prove what God plants in secret, He brings into the light when the time is right.

I hope this reminds you:

- You don’t have to have it all figured out to begin.

- You just have to say yes to God.

How Can You Support?

If you would love to support the organization, here are some ways:

- Please donate if you are able

Donate to our GoFundMe Campaign

- Share the GoFundMe with your community

- Pray for the men, women, and children we will serve

- If you would like to donate products/services/trainings, please email us at support@hiddeninhisquiver.org

Together, we can build a future where survivors are seen, supported, and restored.

God hides His most powerful arrows not to forget them — but to prepare them.

Hidden in His Quiver was born from that truth.

And as we begin this journey, I believe it’s not just my arrow being released — it’s ours.

Together, we’re aiming for healing that will echo for generations.

Welcome to Hidden in His Quiver.

A Safe place.

A Faith Place.

A Home for restoration.

This post is part of my Builder Series — the behind-the-scenes journey of what it looks like to build faith-led businesses, ministries, and movements from the ground up.

Scripture:
“A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked.” — Psalm 91:7-8 (ESV)

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The Unexpected Attacks of Life

Have you ever sat at your kitchen table, the bills spread out, a child’s cry echoing from the bedroom, your heart racing with the weight of one more battle that just showed up at your door? Sometimes the attacks come stacked—money tight, health issues, sleepless nights, or a harsh word that sticks to your soul. It can feel like life is set on knocking down everything you’re trying to build. As a woman balancing rooms full of needs—your kids, your dreams, the calling God whispers to you—it’s easy to feel afraid or under-equipped.

Listen, sometimes the weapons really do form and hit so hard you just know they are prospering. But sister, they can’t prosper—not when God is in front of you, behind you, and beside you. Today, we anchor ourselves in the assurance that we are shielded, protected, and deeply loved—no matter how fierce the attack or how long the trouble lingers.

I know the weight that hits when finances feel tight, when your child’s health is threatened, or when your marriage faces unexpected strains. It’s not just “life”—sometimes it feels like the enemy is sending every weapon he has to shake your confidence and peace.

If you’ve ever fought invisible battles while trying to hold your family together, you are not alone.

Today, let’s talk about what happens when the weapons form.

Let’s anchor our daily lives in the promise that, even as spiritual weapons come against us, we are never alone—we are fearlessly and faithfully backed by God Himself.

When the Weapons Form (But Can’t Prosper)

The truth is, the promise of God isn’t that we’ll never face trials or spiritual attacks. Psalm 91:7-8 promises protection not from the appearance of trouble, but from its ability to destroy us.

As Christian moms, many of us have quietly faced seasons where the storm clouds just would not lift. We’ve watched friendships shift, businesses struggle, or prayed desperately over a situation we felt powerless about. Sometimes, just staying upright feels like a miracle.

But God, in His love, reminds us: You are shielded, protected, and loved. It isn’t your battle to fight alone; it’s not all on your shoulders.

God’s Protection and Your Peace

Scripture is clear—our immunity from true harm is secured by a loving God who both fights for us and restores what was lost:

• “I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your soil, and your vine in the field shall not fail to bear, says the Lord of hosts.”
  — Malachi 3:11 (ESV)

• “If they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them.”
  — Mark 16:18 (ESV)

Think about Job’s story: He wasn’t attacked because he was weak or failing, but because he stood faithfully with God. In every battle, God limits what can touch us, and even in what we lose, He promises restoration.

Practical Ways to Stand Fearless

If you feel pressed by fear, finances, family struggles, or anything that threatens your peace, here are steps to anchor your heart in God’s protection:

1. Declare God’s Truth Daily:
Post scriptures and affirmations where you can see them—on your mirror, above your kitchen sink, as a phone wallpaper. Speak out: I am fearless and faithfully backed.

2. Let God Fight for You:
Release the belief that it’s all up to you. Pray: “Father, I trust You to be my defender and vindicator. I surrender the weapons I see (and those I can’t) into Your hands.”

3. Expect Restoration:
Instead of fearing loss, expect God’s restoration. Sometimes what is restored doesn’t look the way we expect—but He always gives what aligns with our purpose, not just our preference.

4. Shift Your Prayers:
Instead of always asking for strength to fight, ask for faith to rest—knowing the battle belongs to the Lord.

5. Affirm What He’s Said:
Declare aloud:

• I am immune to what God does not permit.

• God is my shield, defender, and redeemer.

• Though pressed, I am not broken.
  

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A Prayer to Carry With You

Father, thank You for shielding me from battles I can’t see and fighting for me when I am weak. Remind me to focus on You when weapons rise against my peace, my family, or my sense of security. Forgive me for giving the weapon more power than Your Word. Today, I declare that I am fearless and faithfully backed—not because of my own strength, but because of Your everlasting promises. Amen.

Reflection & Response

• What “weapons” have you been giving too much power in your life—fear, financial worry, health struggles, or something else?

• Where can you let go and allow God to fight your battles this week?

• What promise from scripture can you declare daily to guard your heart against anxiety and discouragement?

Remember:
You may feel pressed, but you will not be broken. You are not fighting alone—God Himself goes before you, beside you, and behind you.

Want more devotionals like this? Become a paid subscriber to Mom Living Normally to access weekly Bible studies, resources, and real community for your faith journey.

If this blessed you, share it with another sister who needs encouragement today.

Keywords: Christian moms, faith journey, healing, devotionals, overcoming grief, business by faith, faithful motherhood, spiritual warfare, God’s protection, restoration

Scripture:
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” — Jeremiah 29:11 ESV

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The Struggle of Surrender

I’ll be honest: there are days when being a mom, wife, friend, and woman of faith feels overwhelming. We draw up plans for how this season “should” look—maybe you pictured a peaceful home, a thriving business, or a family table filled with laughter. But one unexpected diagnosis, business setback, or family rift, and suddenly your vision for the future feels like it’s slipped right through your hands.

I’ve stood at the stove, trying to cook a meal with tears running down my face, asking God, “Why isn’t my life unfolding the way I prayed it would?” The weight of unmet expectations—broken dreams, lost babies, marriages that ache, or visions that don’t materialize—hits hard. It’s the ache of realizing our will and God’s plan don’t always match.

God’s Plans Are Greater—Even When It Hurts

Today, we’re diving into a hard but freeing truth: God’s plans are always greater than ours, even when His route feels nothing like the one we mapped out.

Jeremiah 29:11–14 doesn’t promise us that every desire of our heart will unfold just how we hoped. Instead, it reminds us that what can feel like failures or setbacks are often divine redirections:

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope… You will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jer. 29:11–13 ESV)

It’s so easy, mama, to measure God’s goodness by how closely our situation matches our desires. God says: My vision is bigger. My path is longer. My purpose is deeper than what you can see right now.

When Plans Fall Apart

Listen, I know some of us are facing devastations we never asked for: the child you prayed for who isn’t here, the business setback that stings, the diagnosis you never expected, being single after years in a marriage. It’s easy to believe something good must be missing.

God isn’t punishing you. He’s positioning you.

Our bible backs this up: Daniel had wisdom and favor—yet he still went to the lions’ den. God’s purpose for Daniel’s life went far beyond comfort; He was building a testimony of faith, not ease.

Practical Steps: Choosing Trust Over Control

So what do we do in the messy middle—when it feels like our plans keep crumbling? Here are some actual plans to implement:

1. Pray Honestly
Lay your heart bare before God. Tell Him where it hurts, where you’re disappointed, where you’re afraid your “Plan B” will never be enough. Why are these things happening - or not happening?

2. Surrender the Outcome
Write down one area where you still tightly grip your own timeline or outcome (family, business, marriage, health—whatever it is).

Pray:
“God, I trust Your greater plan in this. Let Your will be done, not mine.”

3. Anchor Your Heart in Scripture
Repeat God’s promises back to yourself. Post verses (like Jer. 29:11, Luke 11:9–10, John 14:14) where you’ll see them daily. Fill your home, car, and phone with reminders that He is for your good—even if you can’t see it yet.

4. Discount Your Emotions When Necessary
Emotions are real but not always true. Our feelings may want to steer us back to what’s safe or familiar, but God calls us into unknown harvests and uncharted joys—places no feeling-driven decision ever led us.

5. Remember Restoration is Coming
Joel 2:25–26 promises, “I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten… You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God.” Your broken season is not the end.

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A Simple Prayer for Redirecting Back

Father, I put my plans in Your hands, trusting that You see further than I can. When I’m tempted to grab control, help me surrender. When fear shouts louder than faith, remind me of Your goodness and Your promise to restore. Thank you for loving me even when I go my own way. Realign my heart with Your purpose—give me courage to keep walking, even when the path bends.

Amen.

Reflection & Response

• Where are you still clinging to your own plan? Does that grip bring you peace or anxiety?

• In what area of life do you need to shift from “Why isn’t this working?” to “Lord, show me Your greater plan”?

• What is one scripture you’ll post in your space as a daily reminder that God is for you, not against you?

Let’s trade disappointment for expectation—believing that even unfinished stories are being woven into something beautiful by our faithful God.

If this post blessed you, share it with a sister who needs to hear that God hasn’t forgotten her!

Want more devotionals and practical faith encouragement? Become a paid subscriber to unlock weekly Bible studies, resources, and community just for Christian moms on a faith journey like yours.

Remember: God’s plans are always greater—even in what feels like the “in-between.” Keep holding on, sister. He’s not done yet.

Keywords: #Christianmoms #faithjourney #healing #Godsplan #devotionals #businessbyfaith #overcominggrief

Scripture:
“And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.” – Luke 1:45 ESV

The Rhythms We Get Stuck In

Some mornings, I catch myself staring at the ceiling, heart pounding with worry about the same things as yesterday: Am I loving my kids the right way? Am I stuck repeating my own mother’s mistakes? Why do I feel like this same struggle—anxiety, self-doubt, guilt—circles my life no matter how much I pray?

It’s so easy to think, “Maybe this is just the way my life is. Maybe these cycles—rushing, reacting, replaying old hurts—are mine to keep.” If you’ve ever found yourself here, friend, you’re in good company. But you’re also right where God wants to remind you: freedom begins with believing Him, not your history.

Naming the Cycle: Why We Repeat What We Don’t Want

These destructive cycles—self-sabotage in your work, short tempers snapping at your littles, falling into old health habits, or even living out patterns handed to us by our families—are so hard to break. Sometimes we stay stuck just because it’s familiar. As Jess shared on the podcast, “Sometimes we end up in decisions of our parents or grandparents, and we stay there because if it were something else, surely they would have tried it.”

Freedom begins with belief.
Breaking free isn’t about pretending things don’t hurt or forcing ourselves to “just try harder.” It’s about a real, raw belief that God’s promises are truer than our patterns. Even if we don’t know how it’ll happen, we choose to believe that what is impossible with man is possible with God (see Luke 1:37).

When Belief Feels Like the Hardest Thing

Mary, the mother of Jesus, had every reason to doubt—her future looked strange, her circumstances scandalous, the road ahead full of questions. But Scripture says, “And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord” (Luke 1:45 ESV).

Imagine if Mary had stayed stuck in the cycles of fear, doubt, or unbelief, letting what others thought shape her response to God’s call. Mary ran toward the promise, even when she didn’t see the outcome. That bold step of belief changed not just her life—but the world.

Whatever you’re wrestling with today—the cycle that feels too big to break, the mom guilt that feels too heavy—remember:
It just starts with one step. One prayer. One moment of surrender.

What’s Holding You Back Isn’t Too Big for God

Maybe you’re thinking, “But I’ve tried before. I still feel so tied to the same old struggles.” Friend, as Jess said, “The enemy cannot create any thought that puts you in a place to welcome the cycles that go against your desire and back to your familiar destructive cycles. He couldn’t create it, but he could play on your experiences.”

The enemy doesn’t hold the pen to your story—God does.

You don’t have to have it all together to start over. You don’t need a giant breakthrough moment. All you need is a whisper of faith—God, I want better. Help me break this cycle.

It’s not perfect. It was never meant to be perfect. It just starts with an invitation, a submission. Letting God know that He is welcome into your mind.

Practical Ways to Walk in Freedom

Let’s put this into practice, right where you are. Try these steps this week:

1. Declare truth out loud.
Words retrain your brain and heart. Try statements like:

• I am disciplined, focused, and fruitful in what God has called me to.

• I am free from destructive cycles.

• I am walking towards fulfillment and success.

2. Post your affirmation somewhere you’ll see it daily.
Mirror. Phone background. Notebook. Your kitchen sink has seen your tears—you can stick it there, too.

Download this episode’s wallpaper:

3. Pray honestly and simply.
No fancy words required. Example:
“God, I know I can’t do this alone. I welcome You into my thoughts and ask You to break this cycle. Show me the first step. Amen.”

4. Move slower and trust yourself, one decision at a time.
As Jess encouraged, “Start moving a little slower until you start to trust yourself more. Building that belief and that trust with God and yourself.”

5. Remember, this is a daily journey.
Some days you’ll stumble. Some days you’ll soar. Keep inviting God into each moment.

A Prayer to Carry Into Your Day

Father, thank You for freeing me. Thank you for being the chain breaker in my life. Renew my heart and make it new. With every breath I take, increase Your presence in me. Remove what is not like You. I choose to believe all You’ve spoken over me—even when my mind falters. Open my eyes to the ways You are working, today and always. Amen.

Reflection & Response

Take a few minutes in your journal—or just quiet your heart—to consider:

1. What destructive cycle have you felt powerless to break in your life or motherhood?

2. Where do you sense God inviting you to believe for something new or better?

3. What is one affirmation or scripture you can declare over yourself every day this week?

Want to go deeper? Become a paid subscriber for weekly Bible studies, faith-building resources, and a space to connect with other Christian moms walking this journey. If this devotional blessed you, share it with a sister who needs encouragement for her faith journey today!

Keywords: Christian moms, faith journey, breaking free from destructive cycles, healing, devotionals, motherhood, obedience, business by faith, overcoming patterns

Scripture:
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV

Finding Yourself Stuck in the Past?

Maybe you know this scene: The house is noisy, your to-do list is longer than you can manage, and before you know it, old thoughts start swirling—“Am I really growing here, or just repeating yesterday?” Maybe you’re haunted by memories you’d rather leave behind, guilt over what could have been, or disappointment that yesterday’s wounds won’t let you step freely into today. Especially as Christian moms, these thoughts are sticky. We want to be patient, nurturing, and faith-filled, but sometimes all we can see is what we're not.

On the latest episode of He Speaks, I Obey, Jess offers an honest and hope-filled reminder: You are a new creation. Not because you did everything right yesterday, not because motherhood is a smooth ride, but because God’s love restores every part of you—again and again.

The Heart of Newness: You Don’t Have to Earn It

Let’s be real—sometimes, the idea of “being new” feels almost out of reach. If you’ve ever thought, “How can I call myself a new creation when I still struggle with the same old stress, impatience, or fear?”—you’re not alone. Jess beautifully reframed this battle:

“I didn’t have to do anything to be new, but to return to God. He never left me and he loves me more than I know. He created me in his likeness and knows me better than I know myself. No matter how much time has passed, he is always right there.”

Soak in that for a moment. The lavish love of God means our “newness” isn’t about our flawless record. It’s about a daily, honest returning—a coming home to the One who never left your side.

Anchoring in the Word:

Every time the enemy whispers old lies or your own heart remembers hurt, you can stand on God’s promise:

• “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV)

• “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV)

• “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9 ESV)

Every Day is an Invitation

Motherhood is full of do-overs—sometimes every hour you find yourself having a moment to do over! Jess shared how easy it is to drift from God’s presence becasue we think we have it all:
“We were the ones who walked away from Him in the direction we thought was best or where our hurt told us to go. But you are here right now, taking this moment in, and believing you are made new, which is important moving forward.”

Being a new creation isn’t a one-time event. It’s a relationship, a returning, and sometimes, a wrestling with the truth when shame tries to shout louder. God invites you, as you are, to come back daily—and He promises to meet you with strength, not judgment.

Moving Forward into the New

Here are some simple, heart-level steps for the Christian mom wanting to live and lead from her new identity, not her old story:

1. Affirm Your Identity Out Loud
Start your day declaring, “I am a new creation in Christ. The old has passed. I choose God’s promises today.” Post it on your fridge, your mirror, or your phone.

Download this wallpaper:

2. Take It One Day at a Time
Don’t try to fix everything overnight. Each small return to God is a mighty victory. Allow God to build your faith moment by moment.

3. Fight Shame with Scripture
When lies, guilt, or exhaustion creep in, speak scripture over yourself. Replace “I’m failing” with “His grace is sufficient for me.”

4. Let Grace Rewrite Your Expectations
Motherhood, healing, or rebuilding your life or business by faith will have setbacks. Give yourself the grace God already loves to give you—perfection isn’t required, but persistence is powerful.

5. Invite Community
Don’t walk this road alone. Share with a trusted friend, pray together, or join a Bible study. We need each other for encouragement and accountability.

Reflection & Response

Journaling or pondering with God can anchor these truths. Consider these questions today:

1. In what ways do you find yourself holding onto the “old” version of yourself? What would it look like to allow God to make you new in those places?

2. What practical step can you take this week to speak God’s truth over the lies of shame or guilt?

3. Who in your life can you invite to walk this faith journey with you, encouraging each other as new creations?

Want to share in the chat or in the comments below? We would love to hear from you

Remember:
You are not who you were. You are becoming who God called you to be. In Christ, the old has passed away—today, the new has come.

Want more devotionals, real stories, and practical support for your faith journey as a Christian mom?
Subscribe to Mom Living Normally and become a paid member for exclusive studies, resources, and our community of sisters growing in purpose, healing, and faith. And if this blessed you, share it with another mom who needs encouragement today!

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18

Grief is heavy. Trauma is louder.

And when they collide, it can feel like there’s no room to breathe, not just for a couple of hours - more like months.

See, I thought everything that I went through was over and gone with, but in just one moment, I knew I was wrong.

I've walked through grief and trauma separately and alone. It is heavy to breathe, walk, have joy, or move forward. Now, when they meet together- like in a sudden loss and an unexpected reactivation of an old wound- there's pressure that words can't hold.

It's like fried asked, "How do I live without what I lost?" and trauma screams, "Why do I even feel this way after everything has happened??"

Realization

I've learned that the space between the feelings is the place God draws nearest to you and where you fight between survival and surrender.

IN these moments, I've met the God who doesn't flinch at my questions or my outbursts.

Who doesn't shame me, dismiss me, or ignore me.

He's the God who holds what I can't - and for a year I couldn't hold anything. I've had to learn that healing doesn't mean erasing the past and what has happened, but it means letting God be the keeper and healer.

I felt so alone for so long that I figured there was no way to get past what I was feeling; it wasn't just the current loss, but the major losses that I had and hadn't cared about. I was grieving multiple deaths that I failed to finish the process with.

It was so much heartbreak at one time that I didn't think I would make it to the other side. I felt it physically and mentally; it almost felt as though there was no escape.

I didn't have the support that I thought I required, and in the moment, I was angry. My words hurt and pierced the people who I loved, my asks fell on deaf ears, and I was ready to cut the world off.

But God.

After I started releasing, I just kept crying out for help from God because why would I have to go through this alone?!

He said, "Who said you were alone?"

Then I went through weeks of redirection. God provided a space for just me and Him, and in it, intimacy that was all I needed. I realized I never finished grieving because I invited too many people into the process who didn't have my best interests, and it resulted in added trauma that I had no idea - until now.

Hindsight is always 20/20

What's next?

I am coming up to two years since our loss, and we are still here. My son has his own grief journey that I am finding I am the person I needed when I lost the people most dear to me. Everyone forgets that after the funeral, and everyone moves on, there are still people fighting to live through the pain that's unbearable.

I really feel like it's too quick between loss and "it's time to be normal again."

I am thankful that God allowed me to go through it, ask the questions, scream at the top of my lungs, and still be there for me.

We are still taking it day by day, but almost every day, we are reminded of the loss and the gaps that have developed. I know God will be the filler.

Sending reminders through my Test

If you're here - stuck between grief and trauma- I want to say this:

You are not alone

I know. I know how it feels. I know what that voice in the back of your mind is saying.

I know what the empty fridge is saying.

I know the pain you feel watching your children grieve someone they will never see again.

You are not too broken to be redeemed.

No, it will never be the same, but it can still be something beautiful.

And you don't have to figure it all out right now. No matter the pressures of the world.

Take the Time. Lean on Him and let Him hold you.

He already knows what's going on, and He's right there with you.

He is so close. And He sees you. He doesn't want you to feel this pain.

Let it out. Cry it out. Pray it out. Love it out.

Stay close to Him.

He's already holding it all. He's so capable and loves you so much.

Your grief. Your trauma. Your unspoken prayers- He has them all.

The flowers will come back. 🌸

Finally.

This post is not an answer. It’s an invitation:

To let the God who never leaves sit with you in the collision.

To let Him be the calm in the chaos and the healing in the hurt.

To believe that even here—especially here—He is close.

I love you.

Each week, I share where I've made progress, what challenges I've faced, and the lessons God is teaching me as I juggle business, faith, and healing. Think of this as a peek over my shoulder into the unfiltered, real-time process of building multiple businesses while keeping Him in the center.

Cause there is no way I can do this on my own strength!

Let's dive into this week's updates

This week's Wrap-up

This year is flying! It's funny that summer typically is fast, but with so many end-of-the-year deadlines, I feel like it's going in hyperspeed. But nonetheless, we are moving forward!

This week, I started to lean into becoming more visible instead of building in silence. That exposed that I made a mountain out of a molehill because they made it too easy to post now.

The other focus that I shifted to was I can't use Notion primarily especially when deadlines are needed. It was too much of a blank slate to move efficiently, so I had a talk with Chat, and it led me back to Clickup.

Back in 2020, I started using ClickUp as an alternative for Asana and Trello was changing its plans/ functions, where I had to move quickly. But being a multipreneur with 1,0000s of ideas meant moving my complete ideas and ideas that were just that. I imported them before the last day, and they just sat because in the new format, it was difficult to navigate.

Now. I said if it took longer than 20 minutes to work through my task list, then I knew it couldn't be a long-term solution.

And in an hour, I had a space that was connected and worked seamlessly with my mind (and calendar). I sectioned out my space, then worked into my lists. Everything personal was in one space, but separated by lists, same with business.

It removed the barriers of overthinking and seeing my tasks on all levels now - from one tool.

This helped me reignite my fire going into August.

What I worked on

Business

• Planned August Content for social and content (Added to the new system)

• Added Zapier to Clickup for connecting to Upbase for content management with my team (They can work there- I can't lol. I become a bottleneck)

• Updated Search visibility for the blogs

• Worked on the organization's bylaws with my sister

• Built a system for social and blog posting to increase efficiency and consistency

• Added to the Non-Techie documentation for the workflows

• Launched the Apostille Service for the notary business

Personal

• Revisited my health plan as it has now changed (Again)

• Wrote a devotional

• Prepping for return to school

• Completed an assignment (And Passed!)

• Starting a Psalm a day (8/1)

Lessons & Mindshifts

This past week really tested my unbelief.

With the new diagnoses, I was ready to shut down completely. I was reminded of what I was told and what God said regarding me. Most times, you have to keep moving forward, and if He is bringing it to my attention right now, then I need to make the changes now.

I also started to try to pause everything because I was overwhelmed, but I was reminded that I am in a marathon, not a sprint, and its ok to move the date sometimes.

Let's Check In

Where are you tempted to delay what God already gave you permission to build?

Let me know in the comments or in the subscriber chat! Let's do this together 🙂

Anchor Scripture:

"Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain" Psalms 127:1

I can build even when I don't feel like a builder-because the blueprint came from God.

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

This post is for my YouTube video that I published after my diagnosis in 2018.

Life has a way of surprising us when we least expect it. For years, I lived with symptoms I couldn’t explain—headaches, ringing in my ears, pressure in my head, and the creeping loss of vision. Yet, for 12 long years, I walked this path without knowing what was truly wrong. Then, just a month ago, everything changed. I was finally given a name for what I had been battling: Pseudotumor Cerebri, also known as Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension. This invisible disease, a rare condition where the pressure inside the brain becomes dangerously high, was stealing my vision and my life without me even realizing it.

Today, I want to share my story—not just as a mom living normally but as a woman standing firm in faith, determined to overcome this disease. This is my journey of diagnosis, struggle, and hope, and I pray it will encourage anyone walking through the shadow of chronic illness.

The Moment of Diagnosis: A Turning Point

For over a decade, I suffered silently. Doctors misdiagnosed me, telling me I was just suffering from migraines; in reality, I was not. I ended up going for my annual eye exam, and I was instructed to see a neuro-ophthalmologist and to get a spinal tap due to the high pressure.

It wasn’t until after seeing the neuro-ophthalmologist who truly listened to my symptoms—daily headaches, pressure, ringing in my ears, and vision loss—that I finally received clarity.

Walking into that doctor’s office, my left eye was dangerously affected, classified as category four in terms of vision loss. The stakes were high. I was on the brink of losing my sight forever. Hearing the diagnosis of Pseudotumor Cerebri was both terrifying and oddly liberating. Terrifying because it explained the relentless pain and fear I had lived with for years; liberating because it gave me a name to fight against, a battle I could now face head-on.

The Weight of an Invisible Disease

Pseudotumor Cerebri or Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension (IIH) is not widely known. It primarily affects women of childbearing age who are overweight—a demographic I fit into but never imagined would face such a rare condition. The disease is invisible to the outside world, yet the pressure inside my head was very real and dangerous.

Doctors don’t often speak of a “cure” for chronic illnesses, but for this condition, the cure was clear: weight loss. The medication I was prescribed—a water pill to reduce the pressure—helped me lose 30 pounds of retained cerebral fluid in just one month. But the real challenge lies ahead. I have four months on this medication, and I must lose 100 pounds to protect my vision and reclaim my life. I also suffered from long-term memory loss and struggle with some short-term memory issues, but I know it can get better.

This isn’t just about weight. It’s about survival. It’s about waking up every day and choosing to fight instead of surrendering to despair. It’s about making sacrifices and embracing a new, healthier lifestyle.

Faith in the Midst of the Fight

As a single mother of a seven-year-old boy at the time, my motivation runs deeper than myself. I am an entrepreneur, a mom, and a woman of faith who believes God has a plan—even when that plan feels heavy and uncertain. I refuse to ask “Why me?” Instead, I ask, “What now?”

God didn’t bring me this far to let me fall. He is my anchor in the storm. Each day is a battle, but with every pound lost, every healthy meal prepared, and every step taken, I am moving closer to healing.

My journey is not just physical—it’s spiritual. It’s about learning to live fully, even with this invisible disease. It’s about hope, resilience, and trusting that brighter days are ahead.

Living and Fighting in Real Time

In just one month, I lost 40 pounds. I can feel the difference in my body—the way I move, the way my clothes fit, the renewed energy. But this is only the beginning. I am documenting everything: my struggles, my victories, my new recipes, and the lessons I learn along the way.

Most importantly, I want to share this journey to help others who might be silently suffering. If you’ve been diagnosed recently, or if you’re experiencing symptoms and don’t know what’s wrong, know this: you are not alone. It’s never too late to make a change. It’s never too late to fight back.

A Hopeful Takeaway

This invisible disease tried to steal my vision and my life, but it will not steal my hope or my faith. I am learning that healing is not just about the body—it’s about the spirit. It’s about standing firm, trusting God’s plan, and believing that with every step forward, victory is possible.

Since posting this video, this disease has been a journey. Even though I restored my sight, I didn't know that the medication was affecting my mental health, and for most people battling this disease, suicide is at the top - not being healthy.

I have since been medication-free and trying to keep this under control. I also learned that this was heavily dependent on my hormones - not just weight. With an unbalanced body, it is very hard to even begin to lose the weight that they want to. This disease is different in everyone afflicted by it, but that doesn't mean you can't beat it.

This disease tried to rob me of my joy, my memory, and my life. As shameful as I have felt about dealing with a disease that chose me, it is ridiculous, and the more I talk about it, the more someone who is much younger or even older than me can overcome this disease.

If you are walking through chronic illness today, I want you to know there is power in your story. There is power in your faith. And there is power in choosing to fight—for your life, your vision, and your future.

Faith Note:

• How has your faith been challenged or strengthened during your own health journey?

• What small steps can you take today to embrace hope and healing, even in uncertainty?

Let your faith be the anchor that holds you steady through every storm.

God created you in His image, not a duplicate of Him or a copy, but in His Likeness.

We are incredible beings; we can speak things and they will be so. We can declare and decree, and it is so.

We believe and move in faith, not just because we read it but because we believe that our Father will provide. He is capable of miracles, signs, and wonders.

We were created spiritually limitless; we can do all things. The jobs, businesses, kids, significant others, our homes, our cars, everything that we have or may feel like we asked for, we conversed with God. Some of the things we have, we didn't utter a word for, but were a direct attachment to something we did ask for or long for.

Now isn't the time to put spiritual dampers on; now is the time to exercise in faith our gifts and spiritual assignments.

Believe it, see it, speak it, and seek him daily.

Without our father, our spirit gets pushed back, and our flesh drives us further and further away from him.

Scriptures to Rest on:

Genesis 1:26-27 ESV

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." So God created man in his own image, in the image og God he created him; male and female he created them.

Job 22:28 ESV

You will decide on a matter, and it will be established for you, and light will shine on your ways.

Romans 4:17 ESV

As it is written " I have made you the father of many nations"- in the presence of God in Whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist.

Mark 11:22-24 ESV

And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him.”

Ephesians 3:20 ESV

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us

2 Corinthians 5:7 ESV

For we walk by faith, not by sight.

Philippians 4:13 ESV

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Matthew 19:26 ESV

But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

John 15:5 ESV

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him , he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

Romans 8:14 E

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.

Let this be your reminder: the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in you. You were never called to live limited—only surrendered. Today, rise with the confidence that God’s image is not just reflected in you… It's working through you.

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,the watchman stays awake in vain.

Psalms 127:1 ESV

The Season Shift

April was a worldwind of revelation and watering. May is focused on movement.

I used to move fast and burn out. Now, I’m moving with obedience, softness, and connection—trusting God every step of the way.

✨ What I’m Focusing On This Month

This month, I’m anchoring into three key assignments:

1. Deepening my healing (spirit, soul, and body).

2. Laying foundations for the businesses God gave me.

3. Building stamina for the long haul - not for a quick race.

✝️ Faith Intentions

This month, I’m learning to move with provision, not panic. Last month brought clarity. This month requires faith for fulfillment.

So I’m choosing to:

• Obey more than I overthink

• Trust more than I strive

• Move even when the provision hasn't yet fully shown up

❤️‍🩹 Healing Intentions

My body is healing from years of depletion and delay. This month, I’m choosing:

• Consistency over extremes

• Presence over pressure

I’m saying yes to foods that fuel me, to still moments and stretching, and to the unseen work happening inside.

🗃️ Business & Purpose Intentions

Obedience is the strategy. Faith is the funding.

Instead of scattering my energy across all seven businesses, I’m focusing on a few that are ripe for this season:

Non-Techie HQ

• Hosting my first live class since June 2024

• Recording new self-paced courses for Udemy, Skillshare, and SkillSuccess

Mom Living Normally (Substack)

• Updating paid plans for transparency and alignment

• Publishing new posts

• Finalizing the Outline for my next book (yes, it’s time 👀)

Jess Mobile Notary Services

• Publishing three blogs to boost visibility - Organically

• Creating targeted Apostille service pages

Unannounced Businesses

• Building backend systems for fulfillment

• Launching MVPs with simplicity and clarity

• Laying the foundation on social media

🎯 This month’s business focus: Vision, clarity, consistency.

🔪 What I’m Letting Go Of

• The fear that rest will delay God’s timing

• The pressure to be 150% together before launching

• The belief that I have to do everything alone

🎙️ May Declaration

I’m walking into May with sacred fire. Not the kind that burns me out—but the kind that burns away every lie that says I’m not who God says I am.

I am called. I am equipped. I am in motion with my Abba.

🔜 Coming This Month on Mom Living Normally

Here’s a peek at what I’m sharing this month:

📝 Devotional Posts

• Wellness By Faith

• Weekly Business Building Logs

• Names of God Study

• When Grief and Trauma Collide: The God who Holds All

• Chronic Faith Series

• Currently Reading: The Mountain is You

• Fear: The Hidden Enemy

📚 Writing in Progress

• Book excerpts

• Founding Member reflections

• Behind-the-scenes of business rebuilding

It’s been a minute. The last time I posted, I was still in a storm that hadn’t fully revealed its damage or its direction. To be honest, I almost didn’t know where to begin again.

But the Holy Spirit reminded me: start from what didn’t go as planned, because that’s where I show up the most.

From September 2024 to April 2025, I walked through a storm that God used as a setup. What was supposed to break me down became the moment God built me up. What was supposed to silence me became the very reason I have to speak louder. What was supposed to delay me ended up aligning me with my assignment.

This post is the testimony. The marker that says, I lived through it, and God never left.

🧬 September: Fibroids, Fear & Fragility

I went into fibroid surgery with more fear than peace. Not fear of the operating table—but fear of leaving my son behind. Grief mixed with panic. My estranged husband, his father, had passed just 10 months prior. I was all he had.

My surgery was originally set for August 28th (a couple of days after my 34th birthday), but the surgery was delayed, and my condition worsened. I pushed through school because I thought I could handle both (I couldn’t), since it was too late to submit for a term break that would give me the time to heal, it was my only option.

⚡️ October–December: Recovery & Revelation

Recovery didn’t go as planned either. It was slow, lonely, and complicated. People assumed I was stronger than I was. But inside, I was crumbling. The weight of healing without help, while still being responsible for everything—meals, school, parenting, bills—felt crushing. I didn’t have the luxury of pausing. Things still had to get done, even when I could barely move. And the pressure to be 'better by now' only made the silence louder.

By December, I was exhausted and depleted. My final post-op appointment left me speechless. Literally. I only spoke three words in the room. I cried out to God instead in my car because I felt overlooked, dismissed, and broken.

And He did.

🌈 January: Relearning My Limits

January brought a flicker of hope. I could move again. I started feeling like a person—until I picked up the same load I used to carry, and my body pushed back.

God whispered: This time, we’re doing it differently.

I wasn’t allowed to do it the same way, I had to ask for direction in so many areas to be able to move in the way I needed to.

✈️ February: A Divine Appointment (and Acupuncture)

I heard to bypass my usual route and try a new approach.

Then my divine plot twist: an acupuncturist.

At that appointment, I felt seen. Every issue she named? Spot on. I had been unknowingly malnourished, overfeeding in all the wrong ways, overexerting, and under-healing. What I thought needed weights and willpower actually needed gentleness and restoration.

It changed my life—and not just physically.

🔧 The monkey wrench that tried it

My vision began to blur, and the eye doctor confirmed that IIH was trying to creep back in. But I’m still in remission, and I needed to continue to make changes.

Still healing. Still covered.

I was also forced to take a break from school. And because I hadn’t been able to work, tuition became impossible to cover. It looked like another delay, but God was clearing space for something bigger.

💪 March: Alignment in My Body

The changes I started implementing with my acupuncturist began to take root. I lost 15 pounds in two weeks. But more importantly, I found alignment—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

My gut was a mess from the year of medication and pain medicine prescribed to combat the effects of the fibroids. My liver and spleen were taxed. But I wasn’t just fighting weight anymore. I was fighting for wholeness.

With the help of tools (shoutout to ChatGPT!) I began to supercharge my understanding of what my body needed. And that obedience overflowed into every other area.

🚀 April: The Download from Heaven

At the top of April, I had a quiet 50-minute moment with God. And He answered the questions I’d been crying out about for years.

He gave me seven businesses. Some I already had. Some were fresh. But they weren’t just ideas—they were blueprints. Each one was a building block. Each one tied to a part of me: my gifts, my pain, my prophetic wiring. The reason behind the pain and tests.

God didn’t just give me assignments. He gave me confirmation. That I’m called. That I’m qualified. That there is no one more qualified for what He gave me than me.

🌌 So Why Am I Back on Substack?

Because I’m building in public. As a testimony. As a marketplace builder. As a woman who is still healing but not hiding.

I’m writing through grief. Through strategy. Through vision. Through daily obedience. And I want you to see it. Not because it’s perfect, but because you might be in a similar place and need to see someone else do it to believe it’s possible.

🔥 Final Word:

God didn’t forget me. He was just preparing me.

And now? I’m walking into everything He spoke. With fear sometimes, yes. But with faith always.

If you’re still here, still reading, still holding on—this next season is yours too.

Let’s build. Let’s heal. Let’s obey.

Together.

Next up:

• May Intentions: Building by Faith + Fire (Free + Paid)

• Names of God Series: El Roi, The God Who Sees Me (Free)

• Wellness by Faith: Listening to the Body God Designed (Free + Paid)

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🔒 Paid Subscriber Bonus: Healing Reflection Journal

If this post met you in a season that didn’t go as planned… this is for you.

I’ve created a guided journal sheet with reflection prompts, scripture anchors, and a prayer declaration to help you process the weight of what you’re walking through—emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

📓 In this 1-page download:

• Reflection questions like: “What did I expect healing to look like?”

• A journaling space for what you’re grieving and what God is restoring

• A prayer you can declare on hard days

Click below to download your printable journal. Available to paid subscribers 💛

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Time to complete: 15 Days

Pre-work

In preparation for this class, I completed nothing. I just jumped in; there wasn’t a lot of class interaction in the class chatter. I did look at the tasks, and there was a wireframe and multipage website.

Study Plan

I aim to complete each class within a week; some may take a bit more time, but the rule of thumb is 1 class a week.

This class took me a bit more time to complete, not because it was difficult but because I worked on other classes in between. (I completed C458 in between)

I started by going through units one and two (4/15), completing the labs to 100%.

Task or Pre-Assessment

After getting through units one and two, I actually worked on D270 because the live cohorts were happening. I ended up getting back started on this class (4/28) and completed the wireframe using Figma the same day.

It ended up being returned (5/2) for revisions due to not specifying which page was state and which was city. It needed to be clearly labeled for the assessment. I fixed it and submitted it back, and it returned passed (5/3).

Task 2 required coding a 4-10 page website that needs to function with a non-functional form about a state of your choice, a page for the capital, and two additional cities.

I submitted it (5/18) the task 2, and it was returned for revisions (5/20) due to the following:

• Not comparing the state average income to the city

• Windows needed to open in a separate tab or window

• Float property wasn’t significant

I corrected it and resubmitted it (5/23), and it returned passed (5/26).

Done!

Submitted Task Files

Read more

Time to complete: 7 Days

Pre-work

This class didn’t really have a lot of preparation, I did look at the course chatter and saw a lot of people recommended watching the recorded cohorts and the study guide.

Study Plan

My goal is to complete each class within a week; some may take a bit more time, but the rule of thumb is 1 class a week.

I took longer on this class primarily because it was a lot of personal events happening, but once I got started, I was able to pretty much fly through it.

This is one of the classes I suggest going through all the reading with the study guide. It made it a lot easier to understand what was important through all of the reading and different topics.

What I did

With the downloaded study guide, I reviewed unit 1-3 videos (4/29 + 5/10), which gave an overview of the four units. Then I jumped into the modules with the study guide (May 23-25); I worked in 45-minute time blocks and finished the study guide.

Pre-Assessment

I took the pre-assessment (5/26) and passed competent but on the emotional health and wellness I had “reaching competence”. I took it after only going through the content once, but I had already planned to review it. I reviewed the content by listening to the videos and rewriting my notes on my iPad, which took about an hour, and then I scheduled to take my objective assessment.

Done!

I passed the objective (5/29) in 13 mins; this class was very easy with the videos and the study guide. There was a pretty equal number of questions spread across the objective.

Physical Health - 24%

Nutrition- 24%

Emotional Health and Wellness - 24%

Social and Emotional Learning -29&

There were a lot of questions in regard to sleep stages, drug classifications, and diet guidelines.

Assessment Results

I don’t find it a coincidence that He has led me to really pull the root of fear out of my life this year. Now I know the test is here; when the world tries to convince you it’s over, who will you choose to follow?

God is still in Control.

And He always prepares a way for His people. We are never forsaken or left behind; we are always given a way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Ephesians 2:10 MSG

^7-10 Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.

The time is now for:

• Increasing your household income

• Acquire assets, not liabilities

• Clean house of anything you don’t need

• Prepare shelf-stable food options

• Build a village for community and life

• Decrease social media time

• Prioritize you and your family’s mental health

• Prioritizing your physical body while armoring your spiritual being

• Staying or becoming Bible-First

• Secure your Passport

What’s Next?

With the new president being business-focused, all of the viable ideas that God has given me over the years were built for now. Building assets becomes priority number one in this journey.

No matter what you think you can or can’t do, now is the time to try. Will everything work out? No. But if you haven’t hit your goals, then you truly have nothing to lose.

Spend the next 4 years increasing your net worth rather than increasing the weight of what’s possibly to come.

I want to document how God is preparing me to move forward these next 4 years, realistically beyond, because there will always come something else that “threatens” people's livelihoods, so I am preparing now essentially for my bloodline to never deal with the lack we feel now.

For me, direction has come in getting the pieces my family needs in order:

✅ Starting the process of getting me and my son’s passport

✅ Starting the application process for my gun card

✅ Setting up my investment accounts

✅ Completing food inventory

God gave me visions and dreams of where I will be one day, and I believe and trust that they will come true with my free will.

¹⁴ And the men said to her, “Our life for yours even to death! If you do not tell this business of ours, then when the Lord gives us the land we will deal kindly and faithfully with you.”

¹⁵ Then she let them down by a rope through the window, for her house was built into the city wall, so that she lived in the wall. ¹⁶ And she said^[d] to them, “Go into the hills, or the pursuers will encounter you, and hide there three days until the pursuers have returned. Then afterward you may go your way.” ¹⁷ The men said to her, “We will be guiltless with respect to this oath of yours that you have made us swear. ¹⁸ Behold, when we come into the land, you shall tie this scarlet cord in the window through which you let us down, and you shall gather into your house your father and mother, your brothers, and all your father's household. ¹⁹ Then if anyone goes out of the doors of your house into the street, his blood shall be on his own head, and we shall be guiltless. But if a hand is laid on anyone who is with you in the house, his blood shall be on our head. ²⁰ But if you tell this business of ours, then we shall be guiltless with respect to your oath that you have made us swear.”

"The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life” (Psalm 121:7)

This scripture sums up Joshua 2:14-20. Rahab wasn’t a believer previously, but she began to believe because she heard about the God that protected Israel. Rahab was met with the test of faith by providing the spies Joshua sent a safe haven for their mission back for report.

She passed with flying colors! She hid them, protected them, and led them to safety. In return, she received protection from Her Father.

She was given instructions to prepare her House of Safety for her family, who may not believed at the time of receipt but have an opportunity to submit to God because of her faith.

Your faith and belief can unlock chains from others without your knowledge, and I believe this is why we should live a certain way. We want people around us to be influenced by the goodness of our father, not by the shame of our mistakes.

There are fears that everyone carries, but it’s the ones that are specific to just us that hold the most power.

Stormi talked about going back to her family home and how everything she thought she got over, she didn’t. It wasn’t as powerful as it was, but it still held power through fear over her that wasn’t highlighted until she went back.

Most of us don’t have the choice of returning to what instilled fear in us. For me, it could be a smell, something someone says to me, or even me speaking to someone. I can’t pinpoint every trigger, but they definitely make themselves known as soon as they come.

She also highlighted some specific fears:

• Being insignificant, unimportant, or invisible

• Fear of Man and Rejection

• Talking to people

• Unending pain and Suffering

Part of instilling the truth in me is writing on Substack, showing up in every business God gave me, and filling myself daily with His word.

Fear welcomed me into its grips at the age of 12; it was life-changing for me in the worst way possible. Then, in the following years, it really took root that I will continue to have pain and suffering forever. I’m not really ready to write about everything surrounding what has happened to me, but I know when I do, fear will no longer hold a part of my life.

From ages 9-12, I felt like I was stripped of the “protections” I had around me. One by one, I lost the people I loved the most in my life. They were pinnacle pieces of my life that I wouldn’t have the pleasure of revisiting in my adult life for all of the lessons they learned to help me on my journey. I didn’t have that, and through ages 12-16, I needed it more than they knew. They were the ones to fight for me, the ones who listened and protected me in more ways than one. In hindsight, God was always my protection; He protected me through the people he put in my life and the angels He placed on my protection detail.

My life experiences definitely made me believe I was insignificant, unimportant, and invisible and helped breed fear of man, rejection, speaking to people on any level, and the feeling that I will forever be in this place of pain for the rest of my life.

I gave up at the age of 15 because I didn’t see a way out; I knew my school years were the “best it could ever be,” and there was no life for me after. I had no goals or aspirations because why would I choose to live in this life of pain forever?

But God. He solidified a relationship with someone who helped me see there was life after what I had been through and pushed me to actually figure out what God had for me in my life to come. I promised her I would try my best to keep going, and if it ever got too hard, I would come and sit with her until it was better.

Life started to get a little better, and I had a plan for life after high school. I was accepted to the school of my choice, graduating high school - a life after “the best” who would have known. Then she was taken away from me.

Fear Requires a Choice

Just like that, she was gone, taken away from me, and how could I just pick up and go when the person who singlehandedly helped me return back to God and make a plan for a part of life I never expected to live?

17 years later, I am just now picking up the plan, dusting it off, and submitting it back to God. The difference now is that I am actually learning who God is and why He even cares about me. I learning through my own eyes, not through the sight of others around me and their situations and circumstances.

The Truth: I let pain and fear drive my life.

I can see clearly how a chain of events allowed me to accept a coffin of fear. It’s funny. The thing that I was most terrified about was also the very things God wanted me to do. Although fear wasn’t something that I asked or prayed for, being free from it is. I made the choice to get closer to Abba and learn what I inherited and what he actually gave me.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Going through this study of The Power of Praying through Fear is doing exactly what I was scared of. This made me face the lies that were built through fear, but the part that I didn’t know was that on the other side was a new life.

Main takeaway: I have to face the fears and the lies in order to solidify the truth.

I hope my testimony through transformation helps someone know you are not alone in your journey and you are going to be better on the other side.

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Not only did I have fear but also shame, distrust, and brokenness.

This year I heard to remove the fear from my life, it was necessary for this next part of my life. The part where I actually learn how to live and breathe without restraints on my life, and my dreams. Where I can move with the wings of my faith instead of the pain of my past. This fear paralyzed my life, plagued me as a parent and

Finding the Tools

I am a huge fan of Stormie Omartian, I have completed a number of the studies she has created and I love how she intertwines her story, her lessons, and the word. She has been someone on my journey who I resonated with in her beginnings and gave me hope for a new life to begin.

In navigating this massive topic of fear, I knew I needed something to help with the journey and I found the power of praying through fear book and study guide. I’m going to work through a chapter a week to help take my time and really work through a chapter a week to help take my time and work through this because I truly am exhausted with living in fear and allowing it to shape everything I love, hate, touch, and importantly my faith.

Chapter 1 - What Can Fear Do to Us?

A lot. Fear can do a lot. More than I have ever imagined. It robbed me of so much in so many areas of my life that I didn’t see the point of why God even allowed me to be here still but take the people from me who deserved to be here.

Fear made me believe that I didn’t deserve to continue living, I’m so glad I didn’t listen.

Chapter 1 started with Stormie’s testimonial and transparent feelings that she went through that created her foundation of fear. She touched on how fear can come so much more and end up evolving to phobias.

Biggest takeaways

• Fear is behind some of my most “What if” moments that quickly became depressive states.

• Fear controlled the limits of success and enjoyment in my life

• God never meant for me to live in this restricting fear

• I have the control to gain my freedom completely

My foundation action for this week (and forward)

• Pray about everything; no matter how small or big

Taking the same time I unconsciously take to confirm and affirm a fear, I should take to put it against the Word of God and test it until I believe without a shadow of a doubt that God love me, chose me as His daughter and doesn’t want me to live in torment or fear.

[John 8:31-21] Believe in Him; Continue in my word and you will know the truth which sets us free.

8 Now before they lay down, she came up to them on the roof,

9 and said to the men: “I know that the Lord has given you the land, that the terror of you has fallen on us, and that all the inhabitants of the land are fainthearted because of you.

10 For we have heard how the Lord dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to the two kings of the Amorites who were on the other side of the Jordan, Sihon, and Og, whom you utterly destroyed.

11 And as soon as we heard these things, our hearts melted; neither did there remain any more courage in anyone because of you, for the Lord your God, He is God in heaven above and on earth beneath.

12 Now therefore, I beg you, swear to me by the Lord, since I have shown you kindness, that you also will show kindness to my father’s house, and give me a true token,

13 and spare my father, my mother, my brothers, my sisters, and all that they have, and deliver our lives from death.”

Today's reading was the living embodiment of the scripture set: Romans 10:17-21AMP literally evidence that this word is true using Rahab's situation:

17 So faith comes from hearing [what is told], and what is heard comes by the [preaching of the] message concerning Christ.

18 But I say, did they not hear? Indeed they have;

“Their voice [that of creation bearing God’s message] has gone out to all the earth,

And their words to the [farthest] ends of the world.”

19 But I say, did Israel fail to understand [that the gospel was to go also to the Gentiles]? First Moses says,

“I will make you jealous of those who are not a nation (Gentiles);

With a nation that lacks understanding, I will make you angry.”

20 Then Isaiah is very bold and says,

“I have been found by those who did not seek Me;

I have shown Myself to those who did not [consciously] ask for Me.”

21 But of Israel he says, “All day long I have stretched out My hands [in compassion] to a disobedient and obstinate people.”

Her city lived in fear because they knew the land they currently resided in was in fact to be inhabited by strangers that found their way to her doorstep. She knew of nothing directly, only by overhearing conversations that happened around her. She hadn't had direct interaction with God like Jesus and the lady at the well. She simply overheard the fear-filled conversations. But instead of being filled with the fear she was being fed, she chose to believe that God is God and walk in that belief. She didn't dismiss the fear but instead of hiding behind the protection of the walls she used her boldness to ask for her and her family to be spared.

She chose to welcome the people who would rightfully take the land into her home because she believed in faith that she would be sparred because not only did she fear enough to believe, she heard enough to know God can and will protect her.

Fear often triggers fight or flight but in Rahab, it triggered faith and belief.

How often have you been in a situation that created fear in you?

How was your childhood, did it create fear in you or hope?

When those key events happened, do you remember when you came to the crossroads of fear like Rahab?

4 But the woman had taken the two men and hidden them; so she said, “Yes, two men came to me, but I did not know where they were from.

5 When it was time to close the [city] gate at dark, the men left; I do not know where they went. Pursue them quickly, for [if you do] you will overtake them.”

6 But [in fact] she had brought the scouts up to the roof and had hidden them under the stalks of flax which she had laid in order on the roof [to dry].

7 So the [king’s] men pursued them on the road to the Jordan as far as the fords [east of Jericho]; as soon as the pursuers had gone out after them, the gate [of the city] was shut.

This passage set today was more profound than it seemed at first to me. Imagine living in a heavenly protected space where at night no one you didn't know walked the streets. Then one day you willingly give refuge to two outsiders and lie to the ruler of the land.

Rahab made a choice to open her doors to the outsiders that had been living outside of their walls, knowing the king's men she hid the men on her roof out of danger and directed her protectors out of the gates.

She removed her protection while protecting strangers, I don't think she would have done that if she was sure she was safe with them. I wouldn't!

If the choice was made not to house them, what would the story of Joshua look like? Rahab was prepared for the moment with no incentive but to trust God more than she trusted herself and her king.

Even the spies, how were they led there and a door be opened onto them? How did they know they were safe?

She chose to house strangers in her protected land from her protectors. God.