Praying through Fear - Week 2
What do we fear most? That's what holds the power
What do we Fear Most?
There are fears that everyone carries, but it’s the ones that are specific to just us that hold the most power.
Stormi talked about going back to her family home and how everything she thought she got over, she didn’t. It wasn’t as powerful as it was, but it still held power through fear over her that wasn’t highlighted until she went back.
Most of us don’t have the choice of returning to what instilled fear in us. For me, it could be a smell, something someone says to me, or even me speaking to someone. I can’t pinpoint every trigger, but they definitely make themselves known as soon as they come.
She also highlighted some specific fears:
Being insignificant, unimportant, or invisible
Fear of Man and Rejection
Talking to people
Unending pain and Suffering
“Whatever it is, we need the truth and the Love of God to enable us to get completely free.”
Stormie Omartian
Part of instilling the truth in me is writing on Substack, showing up in every business God gave me, and filling myself daily with His word.
Fear welcomed me into its grips at the age of 12; it was life-changing for me in the worst way possible. Then, in the following years, it really took root that I will continue to have pain and suffering forever. I’m not really ready to write about everything surrounding what has happened to me, but I know when I do, fear will no longer hold a part of my life.
From ages 9-12, I felt like I was stripped of the “protections” I had around me. One by one, I lost the people I loved the most in my life. They were pinnacle pieces of my life that I wouldn’t have the pleasure of revisiting in my adult life for all of the lessons they learned to help me on my journey. I didn’t have that, and through ages 12-16, I needed it more than they knew. They were the ones to fight for me, the ones who listened and protected me in more ways than one. In hindsight, God was always my protection; He protected me through the people he put in my life and the angels He placed on my protection detail.
My life experiences definitely made me believe I was insignificant, unimportant, and invisible and helped breed fear of man, rejection, speaking to people on any level, and the feeling that I will forever be in this place of pain for the rest of my life.
I gave up at the age of 15 because I didn’t see a way out; I knew my school years were the “best it could ever be,” and there was no life for me after. I had no goals or aspirations because why would I choose to live in this life of pain forever?
But God. He solidified a relationship with someone who helped me see there was life after what I had been through and pushed me to actually figure out what God had for me in my life to come. I promised her I would try my best to keep going, and if it ever got too hard, I would come and sit with her until it was better.
Life started to get a little better, and I had a plan for life after high school. I was accepted to the school of my choice, graduating high school - a life after “the best” who would have known. Then she was taken away from me.
Fear Requires a Choice
Just like that, she was gone, taken away from me, and how could I just pick up and go when the person who singlehandedly helped me return back to God and make a plan for a part of life I never expected to live?
17 years later, I am just now picking up the plan, dusting it off, and submitting it back to God. The difference now is that I am actually learning who God is and why He even cares about me. I learning through my own eyes, not through the sight of others around me and their situations and circumstances.
The Truth: I let pain and fear drive my life.
I can see clearly how a chain of events allowed me to accept a coffin of fear. It’s funny. The thing that I was most terrified about was also the very things God wanted me to do. Although fear wasn’t something that I asked or prayed for, being free from it is. I made the choice to get closer to Abba and learn what I inherited and what he actually gave me.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
Going through this study of The Power of Praying through Fear is doing exactly what I was scared of. This made me face the lies that were built through fear, but the part that I didn’t know was that on the other side was a new life.
Main takeaway: I have to face the fears and the lies in order to solidify the truth.
I hope my testimony through transformation helps someone know you are not alone in your journey and you are going to be better on the other side.
