When Life Didn’t Go As Planned - But God Did
Man makes plans - God Laughs
Man makes plans, God laughs.
It’s been a minute. The last time I posted, I was still in a storm that hadn’t fully revealed its damage or its direction. To be honest, I almost didn’t know where to begin again.
But the Holy Spirit reminded me: start from what didn’t go as planned, because that’s where I show up the most.
From September 2024 to April 2025, I walked through a storm that God used as a setup. What was supposed to break me down became the moment God built me up. What was supposed to silence me became the very reason I have to speak louder. What was supposed to delay me ended up aligning me with my assignment.
This post is the testimony. The marker that says, I lived through it, and God never left.
🧬 September: Fibroids, Fear & Fragility
I went into fibroid surgery with more fear than peace. Not fear of the operating table—but fear of leaving my son behind. Grief mixed with panic. My estranged husband, his father, had passed just 10 months prior. I was all he had.
My surgery was originally set for August 28th (a couple of days after my 34th birthday), but the surgery was delayed, and my condition worsened. I pushed through school because I thought I could handle both (I couldn’t), since it was too late to submit for a term break that would give me the time to heal, it was my only option.
⚡️ October–December: Recovery & Revelation
Recovery didn’t go as planned either. It was slow, lonely, and complicated. People assumed I was stronger than I was. But inside, I was crumbling. The weight of healing without help, while still being responsible for everything—meals, school, parenting, bills—felt crushing. I didn’t have the luxury of pausing. Things still had to get done, even when I could barely move. And the pressure to be 'better by now' only made the silence louder.
By December, I was exhausted and depleted. My final post-op appointment left me speechless. Literally. I only spoke three words in the room. I cried out to God instead in my car because I felt overlooked, dismissed, and broken.
Jehovah Tsaba, fight this battle for me. I can’t go on anymore.
And He did.
🌈 January: Relearning My Limits
January brought a flicker of hope. I could move again. I started feeling like a person—until I picked up the same load I used to carry, and my body pushed back.
God whispered: This time, we’re doing it differently.
I wasn’t allowed to do it the same way, I had to ask for direction in so many areas to be able to move in the way I needed to.
✈️ February: A Divine Appointment (and Acupuncture)
I heard to bypass my usual route and try a new approach.
Then my divine plot twist: an acupuncturist.
At that appointment, I felt seen. Every issue she named? Spot on. I had been unknowingly malnourished, overfeeding in all the wrong ways, overexerting, and under-healing. What I thought needed weights and willpower actually needed gentleness and restoration.
It changed my life—and not just physically.
🔧 The monkey wrench that tried it
My vision began to blur, and the eye doctor confirmed that IIH was trying to creep back in. But I’m still in remission, and I needed to continue to make changes.
Still healing. Still covered.
I was also forced to take a break from school. And because I hadn’t been able to work, tuition became impossible to cover. It looked like another delay, but God was clearing space for something bigger.
💪 March: Alignment in My Body
The changes I started implementing with my acupuncturist began to take root. I lost 15 pounds in two weeks. But more importantly, I found alignment—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
My gut was a mess from the year of medication and pain medicine prescribed to combat the effects of the fibroids. My liver and spleen were taxed. But I wasn’t just fighting weight anymore. I was fighting for wholeness.
Fighting for wholeness - From Victory ⚔️
With the help of tools (shoutout to ChatGPT!) I began to supercharge my understanding of what my body needed. And that obedience overflowed into every other area.
🚀 April: The Download from Heaven
At the top of April, I had a quiet 50-minute moment with God. And He answered the questions I’d been crying out about for years.
He gave me seven businesses. Some I already had. Some were fresh. But they weren’t just ideas—they were blueprints. Each one was a building block. Each one tied to a part of me: my gifts, my pain, my prophetic wiring. The reason behind the pain and tests.
Impact. Vision. Legacy.
God didn’t just give me assignments. He gave me confirmation. That I’m called. That I’m qualified. That there is no one more qualified for what He gave me than me.
🌌 So Why Am I Back on Substack?
Because I’m building in public. As a testimony. As a marketplace builder. As a woman who is still healing but not hiding.
I’m writing through grief. Through strategy. Through vision. Through daily obedience. And I want you to see it. Not because it’s perfect, but because you might be in a similar place and need to see someone else do it to believe it’s possible.
🔥 Final Word:
God didn’t forget me. He was just preparing me.
And now? I’m walking into everything He spoke. With fear sometimes, yes. But with faith always.
If you’re still here, still reading, still holding on—this next season is yours too.
Let’s build. Let’s heal. Let’s obey.
Together.
Next up:
May Intentions: Building by Faith + Fire (Free + Paid)
Names of God Series: El Roi, The God Who Sees Me (Free)
Wellness by Faith: Listening to the Body God Designed (Free + Paid)
🔒 Paid Subscriber Bonus: Healing Reflection Journal
If this post met you in a season that didn’t go as planned… this is for you.
I’ve created a guided journal sheet with reflection prompts, scripture anchors, and a prayer declaration to help you process the weight of what you’re walking through—emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
📓 In this 1-page download:
Reflection questions like: “What did I expect healing to look like?”
A journaling space for what you’re grieving and what God is restoring
A prayer you can declare on hard days
Click below to download your printable journal. Available to paid subscribers 💛